a cartoon image of a baker and the title what we named our sonographers

IVF internal scan

IVF internal scan

Over the past year we have attended many scan appointments. Each of these have been a transvaginal ultrasound (internal scan). A lubed up wand probe thing shoved up the non to give the sonographer a good look at all the lady parts and check there in prime condition for treatment. Before the 8th week of pregnancy this is the best way to see what’s happening in there. 

What we have learnt is that each sonographer has there own technique for finding there way around. Some like the legs up and apart. Some want the knees closer together. One might like to have you on the bed. Another might prefer the end of the bed be taken away and the legs up in a contraption of sort. 

What to expect at your scan?

The sonographer will ask you to undress from the waist down and get into there preferred position on the bed. You will have some tissue to put across your lap to make you feel a little less exposed. 

A lubricated wand probe is then gently inserted into the vagina. You may feel a little pressure. 

Once the probe is inserted the sound waves (you can’t hear them) bounce off your organs and produce images on the monitor. Usually you will have a monitor that you can see and the sonographer will have one next to the bed. 

The sonographer will move the wand around and press buttons on the monitor to take measurements and select still images. 

The wand is removed and you are free to get dressed. 

There are no known risks with transvaginal ultrasound scans.

The don’t hurt but can be uncomfortable. 

Trying to introduce some humour to the experience we started naming the various sonographer: 

The gold digger – Wow this one was digging deep. Every corner of the uterus was explored… throughly. As she passed the probe from one side to the other we actually caught a glimpse of vertebrate. We were not there for an x-ray thanks. 

The baker – Mixing is defiantly something this woman does often. Her technique was all in the elbow. We’re not talking a little wrist action here. It was full on mixing mode. I lost count how many times she went past each ovary with the probe. 

Blinkered – I’m not sure if its because we are a same sex couple or because she was concentrating on what she was doing but im sure this sonographer was unaware I was in the room. She didn’t make eye contact with me and only ever spoke directly to the mothership. Felt like a bit of a spare part that day. 

The boxer – pushing the probe in and out to find her way around the boxer packed a few punches to those ovaries. She informed us that there were ‘nice juicy follicles’ before getting one last jab in. 

The contortionist – this one can’t possibly know the limitations of a 41 year olds flexibility. She wanted those knees so far apart. She wanted dislocation of the hips, and almost achieved it! 

Small talk – no we don’t want to talk about your gardening whilst you are inserting a virginal probe neither do we wish to discuss your journey to work, the weather or what we plan to do with the rest of the day. Please, lets just stick to the subject of the scan. 

The grim reaper – this one probably doest deserve the name really, she was lovely. But she gave the worst possible news ‘I’m sorry there is no heart beat’. 

IVF internal scan

IVF internal scan

We would love to hear what you call your sonographer. Let us know in the comments. 

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